Screenshot_20171012-191444What’s up Flashes? Now you know your girl was gonna bring it after that EXPLOSIVE first episode of season four!! Mannnnnn let me tell you: That house was BITCHIN!!!

The first episode of the season did NOT disappoint! It was so jam packed with action, I nearly passed out at least 3 times and cried like a newborn baby over those West-Allen scenes. We’ll get to those soon enough. *shimmies*

At first it was business as usual with Wally having his ass handed to him better than Serena Williams serving up a tennis ball at Wimbledon.

The Samuroid (as Cisco so cleverly coined him) threw that sword into his leg as if he were slicing up a holiday ham. Whew Wally!

You take a licking and STILL keep tripping! The lie detector says you are NOT the fastest man alive. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Wally. I do! He’s such a cute, young virgin.

Yet, I must administer a small dose of Junior Flash tough love: have a seat, Kid. Learn something from the real master of speed: ((The Flash)), then come back and wow us. Mmkay? *smooches*

Great Caesar’s ghost how awesome is the chemistry between Cisco and Caitlin??!! Am I the only one who thinks they’re getting naked later in the season? I want to see it and then… I don’t want to see it. How many friendships are lost forever after hook ups? Tons.

You know it.

I know it.

Don’t stress it.

I honestly think Caitco should continue to be strictly platonic. Seriously, don’t mess with their vibe (no pun intended folks).

And now…. Itssssssssssssss TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!

How about those Barris scenes?? “Tell me you’re still my Barry.” Oh! MAN! I cried harder than 45 after Eminem dissed and dismissed him on national television. ((That’s what I like! That’s what I like!)) *dances*

That was the first time his beautiful lady love got him all hot and charged up yet he was still babbling like a fourth month old. “We’re going to need more diapers!” I’m sorry but I DIED laughing at that one.

Our poor Barry. That Speedforce mama tricked him and left him all alone until he was nuttier than Jif peanut butter. 😦

However and comma!!! Grant Gustin acted his super ass off, did he not? Hand that man an Emmy! Right now. He definitely brought his A game to the new season. Haters: have a seat. Please and thank you. *sips tea*

I felt so bad for him when they locked him up and totally crestfallen to see the beard go. It was sexxxxaaaayyyyyy. *snaps bra*

The strange phrases and doodling were disturbing but Iris had the solution to her man’s dilemma!

“Come get me!”

And he did. All Barry had to hear was “Iris is going to die” and ZOOM we saw his eyes do a crazy speedster dance and he was off to save his girl.

Can we talk about how fast he was going? He might of went in as a boy but the Speedforce made him return as a MAN!

Barry was streaking across Central City so fast, I barely got a glimpse of that perfectly rounded ass moving in that tight, red suit. It was a beautiful sight people. A glorious sight. ((Sigh))

He hunted down that tin can in a headscarf, grabbed his woman and it was bye bye to the robot.

Enter more tears: Iris: “You came back to me!” Barry: “Always.” Ohhhhhh my GAWD they’re SO in love!!” *blows nose*

We must give it up for Candice Patton people!! She stepped it UP this season as well! I love how she was able to play tough to mask all the hurt she felt over losing her gorgeous guy.

(But Cisco was not to be denied! He brought his buddy back in record time!)

But I digress… She came out swinging like Ali, portraying just the right amount of disbelief, sadness and loss to make you think she’d become hardened and unfeeling.

By the reactions of more than a few Tweeters, it was clear they weren’t feeling her standoffish vibe. Yet the bottom line is, any actor or actress who can make an audience react that strongly? Their acting is quality. Go Candice! We love you girl!

In other news, can we just have a moment of silence for the awesomeness that is Killer Frost?

When Squinty twisted back her arm, she stuck her ice pick finger on his head and froze what was left of his frontal lobe. No harm done, Flashes. He didn’t look that intelligent anyway. *shrugs*

But alas, the Ice Queen’s rebirth was short-lived. She switched back to Caitlin in a flash 😉 leaving us wondering wtf had just happened.

Well, hopefully we’ll get to see her again but two thumbs up to Caitlin for ditching those painfully boring third grade teacher threads and showing some skin. Yassssssssssss Ice Queen. YAS!!!!

Finally, who was the creepy guy in black? He looked like Charles Xavier’s long lost abandoned brother. No, not Sabertooth. The one his mother put in the same river Mystique ditched Nightcrawler in. WOOF! No soup for him!

More importantly, what does he want with the Flash? Why was it so important for him and his scary goth partner to see him return to Central City? We’ll soon find out, Kittens.

Are you ready for next week’s episode?? Well suit up and hop on the fastest ride into Central City!

Team Flash is back baby!!!